Monday, May 26, 2014

How to Write a Message on an Online-Dating Site

The first step to finding a date on a disabled matchmaking service is knowing how to write a killer first message. The kind that will grab their attention, and get them to write back to you.

1. Never send out one word messages like "hi" or "sup?" They are just too short and impersonal. You're making it very hard for someone to write back to you. You will either get a message back "hi", or none at all. You want the conversation to flow, not to stunt it before it has even started!

2. Ask question. Questions are a great way to keep a conversation going, because it allows the person you are messaging to have something to write back to you about. Don't go over-bored and ask a ton of things; you don't want to make them feel like you're playing 21 questions. Just ask a couple so you can get the ball rolling, and get them talking.

3. Start off the message by writing your name: "Hi my name is Susan, I saw your profile..." Don't give them your family name for online safety reasons, but giving them your first name will make you seem more personable.

4. Be personal. Make sure to only message them after you've read their profile, and make sure to slip into the messages things about their profile. For example: "I see that you like to read, I'm reading Into the Wild at the moment, what about you?" In this kind of message you've given them a little personal info about you, shown them you took the time to read their profile, and started up a back-and-forth conversation.

5. Don't make remarks about their physical appearance. Don't write comments like: "I really like you're photo, wanna chat?" You are not only less likely to be messaged back, but you will also make someone feel uncomfortable. Stick to comments about things they have written in their profile, not their profile pic.

6. Always stick to positive language. 

7. Make sure it's not too short, but also not too long. It shouldn't be just two or three words, but you should also not be writing a novel! A paragraph is more than enough for a first message.

8. Keep things light and funny.

9. The conversation shouldn't only be about you. Make sure to incorporate questions for the person you are messaging. You shouldn't write three paragraphs about who you are, and then follow it up with a question. Make sure to keep a balance between talking about yourself, and being interested in the other person.

10. Stay away from copy-pasting generic messages (people can tell it sounds like a template), and never EVER use cliches.

Be nice, honest, and most importantly yourself, that will serve you much better than copy-pasting ready made messages.

Personalizing messages can take a little bit more time, and can get frustrating if you're not getting as many replies as you would have liked. But that said, if you've already made an effort to sign up to a disabled matchmaking service like dating 4 disabled, put the extra effort into the messages you send out. If you're serious about finding someone on an online dating site, you have to work on how you phrase messages, and put some thought into them before clicking the "send" button.